Am I still in there?
What does it mean to remain in one place while changing so much that it no longer feels like home? This self-portrait explores the tension between staying, leaving, and returning not as physical movements but as internal shifts that redefine identity and belonging. An inner migration and identity are explored as the figure in the painting, with its clown-like yet deteriorating features, embodies the unsettling experience of feeling like a stranger in a familiar place. The erosion of the face suggests a slow, inevitable transformation - one that mirrors the effects of time, societal expectations, and personal struggles. The clown-like appearance speaks to the masks we wear to assimilate, to survive, and to hide the discomfort of not fully belonging. It is both a performance and a defense mechanism, a forced adaptation that comes at the cost of authenticity. This work connects to migration beyond the literal sense. It reflects the invisible journeys we take when we lose a sense of self, when we feel displaced without moving, or when we return only to find that neither we nor the place we left are the same. The portrait captures the in-between space where nostalgia collides with alienation, where the past lingers but cannot be reclaimed.
